Thursday Special ~ BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…

A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a “BUMP….BUMP….BUMP…” behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him….”BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…”

The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster….faster…BUMPBUMPBUMP.

He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP…BUMP…BUMP… on the heals of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.

With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything….all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin…and suddenly “the coffin stops.”

Thanks to Noreen for this scary tale.

The End is never the End ~ 16

It was a cool wet day when they brought Lovell home from the hospital. She was so excited to see and play with Crumbs once more. Deciding to keep life as quiet and normal as possible, Alice and Morgan had not told her of their decision about Nov 21st. There would be plenty of time for that and since Morgan had promised the ‘new dress’, he wanted to be with them when she chose it. A couple of hours shopping followed by lunch would be just the ticket. But not for a few weeks.

Driving through the entrance from the road, one lunchtime, Morgan saw a man walking along ahead of him. He stopped along side him and lowered the window, asking. “Can I help you?”

Recognising the driver as one of the owners of the property, the visitor tipped his cap in respect, then asked a question.

“I was wondering if there are any jobs going. Outdoor work. In the gardens. I had my own allotment for years. The land has been sold for redevelopment, a shopping mall I hear, so we were all given notice to quit. The garden centre I work in, has served notice, they are closing down at the end of the week. Times are hard and not many jobs going around here at the moment. I am an outdoor soul, love working on the land, close to nature.”

Opening the passenger door, Morgan invited the stranger into the car and up to the house for a chat. They went in through the back door and into the kitchen where George always had the kettle on the boil.

Over a pot of tea and fresh warm scones, they had a chat. Paddy Woods was his name, though known to all and sundry as ‘Wacky’! Morgan took to Wacky Woods immediately. Once the snack was finished they walked outdoors to the gardens. Automatically, Wacky pulled a weed or two, before straightening up and apologising for doing so without permission.

“No Problem, as you can see we were working on the house and it is only now we are thinking of the area outside. I think it might be a major task to keep the grounds in order. I might manage the grassed area with a ride on mower myself, but the walled garden, fruit trees and shrubbery would be beyond me. George the chef, you met him in the kitchen, would like us to provide our own produce, if possible.”

At that, Wacky’s eyes came to life and he oozed enthusiasm for the project.

“The land round here is healthy and not bombarded with modern chemicals. The walled area would give protection from the worst of the weather. Ideal for vegetable growing.

Is there a green house or a shed for potting and keeping tools?

How large are the grounds?

My brother worked in the garden centre too, he was indoors, mainly doing the heavy work, lifting, shifting and the a few bits of maintenance and joinery work. He helped me in the allotment when I needed extra hands, but he spent most of his spare time under the bonnet of an old jalopy that he bought from a car auction a couple of years ago.

Now it was Morgan’s turn to sparkle. Was Wacky’s brother a kindred spirit, with a love of engines?

“Now I have to end our conversation for today, I have a meeting in twenty minutes. Come back into the house and give me your details. I would very much like to have another chat with you and your brother, if he is interested. I am sure we could come to some arrangement. We do have a map of the land that I could dig out for our next meeting.

How are you fixed for Wednesday, I will be free all morning?”

“Wednesday will be fine for me and I am sure it will suit Willie, my brother too. I will check with him and let you know this evening. Thank you Mr Troy, I really appreciate this.”

With that, ` they shook hands and went their separate ways.

Morgan went in search of Alice. He found her talking to Mr Yates. At the new reception desk in the hallway. The desk blended in with the surroundings and it was difficult to believe it was only a week old. Carolyn was a real treasure, to source it for them.

Perhaps, someone else was won over to Carolyn’s charms? Mr Yates was appearing more dapper these days. Gone were the many layers of untidy clothes and he no longer looked like a well worn packed suitcase. His whole countenance had softened since the day he came crashing through the ceiling to their feet. That fall seemed to break through an invisible barrier between them. Now his beard had adopted a more shapely and cared for shape that emphasised his eyes. They actually smiled and looked alive, particularly when Carolyn entered the room.

With that, Carolyn came tip-toe tripping through the front entrance. Bubbling with ideas as usual, this time about the plans for the wedding.

Alice, before I go home today, I need an half hour with you and your fancy fiancé, to run through a couple of ideas.

“Fancy Fiancé indeed! Come on girls , we have interviewees eagerly or should that be nervously waiting to entice us with their talents.”

It was George’s idea for the interviewees to gather in the Oratory with tea and coffee on tap for them. It was a relaxing space and gave them the opportunity to chat together and also get to know the talent they were up against. He joined in with them, thus discovering how they interacted with each other. They had no idea that he was part of the team. This method worked well the previous week, when he was interviewing waiting staff. Morgan did the Oratory duty then, while Alice sat in on the interviews. Morgan said that he wished he had thought about this ‘extra pair of eyes’ over his years of interviewing.

George brought all the ‘kitchen’ folk that he suggested in on another day and together they prepared a meal, with Alice, Carolyn and Morgan in attendance. When it was cooked, they all sat at a large table in the banqueting room and shared in the feast. It was a good experience all-round. The interviewers, got a feel for the ‘heat and timing’ in the kitchen, and the cooks got to meet their employers on their own level.

By evening they had all but one member of the team to negotiate with: the Housekeeper. They wished to have another chat with Mrs Giles, but she was away, at her son’s wedding in new York and due back later in the week.

Carolyn had her time with Alice and her fancy fiancé, when she reminded them, of how they wanted the staff to feel part of the Hour House family.

“So why not involve them in the arrangements for the wedding, and invite them to join in on the big day? The meal they had with the kitchen staff, gave her the idea. Employment contracts would mean they were in place from the beginning of that week, to get a feel of the place and know where they fitted in the scheme of things.

“Be brave. Be different. Don’t wait a year before having a staff party. This way they will gel together and see each other both in the work situation and at play.

“It might work.” said Alice.

“Of course it will.” chimed in Morgan. “Then all we need is to have another chat with Mrs Giles, and find a few musicians. We need live music so that I can have a first dance with Mrs Troy! We need to put our thinking caps on.”

“Did you know that our Mr Yates plays the clarinet?” Asked Carolyn. “He is actually part of a quartet and I am invited to hear them play at the weekend. Would you like me to ask for a couple of tickets, so that you can hear them for yourselves?

“Please do.” Said Morgan. Our Mr Yates is a man of many talents. Just ask Alice, she had him falling at her feet!”

Now come on, dear heart, we are well on the way to living our dream!”

Thursday Special ~ 10 Ghosty Q’s

Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
A: Spooketi

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!

Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His “ghoul” friend!

Thanks to Paddy for these rib ticklers.

 

Just because….

I cannot find the ripperuppertingyamagig, it does not mean my hands are idle.

No way.

I am knitting scrambled egg!

Work in progress - knitting scrambled egg!

Work in progress – knitting scrambled egg!

No. Do not ask me.

I’ll answer that question when I decide what it is going to be. The ideas are still whizzing round in my head. At least it is keeping me out of mischief! ;)

Treasure

Today was a steady as you go day. We were promised bad weather, so I planned to bury my head in a sewing task.

The work involved measuring, marking, pinning and sewing. My living-room floor is ideal for spreading out lengths of fabric. The morning was bright but deceptive, It was a cool 6°C when I began working, definitely autumnal. The room temperature soars once the sun appears. It did today, reaching 13°C. I was a happy camper.

I worked while kneeling, then sitting and eventually standing at the ironing board, before sitting to my dining table, where the sewing machine was switched on, threaded and ready to go. It was a good job I had no unexpected visitors!

At one stage, some stitches needed to be unpicked so I went to the sewing box to find my ripper.

stitch unpicker

stitch unpicker

I had it yesterday. It was not on the table, in the sewing box, on the floor, or in any of the pockets of the clothes I had on yesterday. I searched the fridge, the pantry, the airing cupboard and every room in the house, but still never found it. I did have an older one, not quite so sharp, so gave in and used it.

I worked until the light was going (with stops for meals and a short walk outdoors), then folded my fabric and returned all the sewing accessories to their rightful place in my sewing box. I checked each compartment for the ‘ripper’. I packed away my sewing machine, cleared the table and finally got down on my hands and knees to check the floor. No ripper, it had vanished into thin air.

Resigning my self to the fact it would turn up when I was not looking for it, I made a coffee and went in to sit down in a soft seat and relax. Half way through the coffee I had a bright idea :idea: Did it slip down under the seat cushion of the armchair :?:

Setting my coffee cup out of the way, I lifted the seat cushion, but there was no sign of the disappearing ripper. I slid my hand down into the bowels of the chair and carefully moved along the very narrow space on each side and down the back. Tomorrow when the bruises appear, blame the chair! I felt something, but it was bulkier than the ripper. I brought my treasure to the surface, and inserted my hand once more. More treasure.

These finds urged me on…. My favourite son in law (I only have one!) loves sitting on my sofa, I regularly find coins that have escaped from his pockets, under the cushions. I wondered if there were any more under there? I did find treasure , but alas no coins.

Between the sofa and two armchairs I had a little hoard…

hidden treasure

hidden treasure

    • A roller ball Gel Pen
    • Red Ballpoint
    • Mini KitKat
    • Sticker from fine crochet cotton
    • Staedtler 2H pencil

The two pens were empty. The KitKat was never mine, I don’t eat Milk Chocolate. The crochet cotton is well gone, I have not used it for over seven years, but the pencil will come in handy!

I wondered how long the chocolate wafer was hiding, so I turned it over.

Sorry Elly!

Sell by date

Sell by date

It might be a little stale the sell by date has passed.

It says best before 17:44  1/4/98 

The first of April 1998, Some April Fool I am!

 

Thursday Special ~ Don’t distract the driver….

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, ‘I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.’

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, ‘No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab……………….

I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.’

An oldie. It has the mark of Frank on it.

My Elly has….

There is something about my Elly that you don’t know.

I am almost afraid to tell you.

I only discovered it recently.

Maybe I shouldn’t tell………..

She has……

She has………….

A skeleton in her cupboard!

What do you mean, you don’t believe me?

Would I tell a lie?

I have evidence. HONEST!

Old Sprat

Old Sprat

Oh dear! Has anyone seen George lately?