Daily Archives: April 10, 2007

Little Time Left

While reading yet another article on Global warming I am reminded:

That hundreds of millions of people in the poorest regions of the world will face water shortages, flooding, hunger and disease because of global warming over the coming century.

The report predicts that millions of people in coastal areas, especially small islands and large river deltas, could lose their homes due to flooding and an increase in sea level due to ice melting in Polar Regions and other glacial fields and more intense storms”

Some folk are rather sceptical of these reports and feel that they are put before us by Politicians with nothing better to do! We the little folk are urged to make changes, to use less water, fossil fuels, drive less while our Politicians, Captains of Industry and self appointed Celebrities have no problem leaving large carbon footprints all over the globe.

It is enough to make you doubt these reports…

But I have the proof…

Was it you?

Some guy has taken the time to write this all down. He calls it the rules from the male side. I wonder if it was my Sin-in-Law?

Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cricket, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.