Relax I have not received, or for that matter am not likely to receive, an invitation to join those on the Birthday Honours list. So a future of snoozing of an afternoon on the leather benches in the House of Lords is not for me.

I am referring to a different type of bench.

According to an article in the Daily Mail today mobile phone users in a remote Devon village have literally worn-out a wooden bench on the village green because standing on it is the only way they can get a signal.

Now parish chiefs are building a special “phone throne” for villagers to climb onto so they can make mobile telephone calls.

Now that might be the place to set up residence.

• Peaceful shops and restaurants….

• Drivers with both hands on the steering wheel and full concentration on driving…

• A perfect excuse not to answer my mobile.