This is a quiz for people who do!

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

1. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

1. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

1. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

1. In many Off Licence shops, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

1. Only three words in Standard English begin with the letters ” dw” and they are all common words. Name two of them.

1. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

1. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

1. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter “S.”

Answers tomorrow.

Thank you Dr Elly for sorting out my problem with the last pod cast.

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

I promise to remember what you taught me

love you loads

Grannymar

Grandad has some shopping to do this weekend. We all know he is no stranger to the craft. Alas when it comes to shopping he has no idea how to do it with style.

Imagine buying a vacuum cleaner as a present for a very special Lady on a very Special Day. Well I think I found the ideal gift:

http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/racing-grannies/index.html

If he is feeling left out there is something there for him as well!

Enjoy.

A young farm lad from North Kerry went to study at University in Dublin, but about one month into the first term, he had foolishly squandered away all of the allowance his parents gave him.

Then he had an idea. He called his daddy. “Dad,” he said, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a course here at college that will teach our dog Blackie how to talk!”

“That’s absolutely amazing,” his father says. “Do you think I might get him enrolled on the course?”

“Just send him up here to me with €1,000” the boy says. “I’ll get him into the course. So, his father sends the dog and the €1,000.

About 6 weeks later, the money ran out again. The boy called his father again.

“So how’s Blackie doing, son,” his father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this – they’ve had such good results with this course that they’ve started a new one to teach the animals how to READ!”

“READ,” says his father, “No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that course?”

Just send €2,500, I’ll get him in the class. His father sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. The Christmas holiday was approaching, his father would find out that the dog could neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home for the holiday, his father is all excited.

“Where’s Blackie? I just can’t wait to see him talk and read something!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some bad news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Blackie was in the living room reading the Irish Times, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, ‘is your daddy still messing’ around with that little redhead who lives in Tralee?’

The father says, “I hope you SHOT that F*ck*r before he talks to your Mother!”

“I sure did, Dad!”

“That’s my boy!”

I am sure that young lad will go far!

Yesterday I was on about my difficulties with the English language.
Here are some more examples to mull over:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to    present the present.
8. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
9. I did not object to the object.
10. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
11. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
12. They were too close to the door to close it.
13. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
14. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer.
15. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
16. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
17. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
18. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
19. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
20. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.