A little white haired old lady was pulled over for speeding on the M50 last Monday…

Old Lady: Morning Garda, Is there a problem?

Garda: You were speeding.

Old Lady: Oh, I see.

Garda: Can I see your licence please?

Old Lady: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Garda: Don’t have one?

Old Lady: I lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Garda: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Old Lady: I can’t do that.

Garda: Why not?

Old Lady: I stole this car.

Garda: Stole it?

Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Garda: You what?

Old Lady: I put his body bits are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see them.

The Garda looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his squad car and calls for back up. Within minutes 3 police squad cars box in the woman’s car. A Garda Superintendent slowly approaches her car.

Garda Super: Ma’am, could you step out of your car please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?

Garda Super: I have been informed that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Old Lady: Murdered the owner?

Garda Super: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.

The woman opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty space.

Garda Super: Is this your car, ma’am?

Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers. The Garda Super is quite stunned.

Garda Super: One of my Gardai claims that you do not have a driving licence.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out her licence and hands it to the Garda Super. He examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.

Garda Super: Thank you ma’am, one of my gardai told me you didn’t have a licence, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Old Lady: Bet he told you I was speeding, too.