My Living Will

I, Grannymar, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of dickhead politicians who couldn’t pass 4th year biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Dark chocolate
G&T

Dark chocolate
Glass of wine
Fillet Steak, onions, mushrooms & Chris Cross Chips

G&T
Dark chocolate
Tapas
Dark chocolate

Pooh Bear Ice cream

Dark chocolate
Pooh Bear Ice cream

G&T

Pot of real coffee

Dark chocolate with Pooh Bear Ice cream
G&T
Dark chocolate

 

It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the “fat lady sing”… and call it a day.

 

You can always bury me in a Chocolate box, preferably dark!

12 thoughts on “My Living Will

  1. I think I’d add Beethoven’s Ninth to the list, GM
    And Pride and Prejudice.
    And Seamus Heaney
    And a kiss from my granddaughter.
    And a giggle with the GF’s.
    and Handel’s Water Music.
    And the smell of the ocean.
    And sunsets
    And the sky at night
    And the harvest moon
    and and and and and…..
    Great post!!

  2. Pooh Bear Ice Cream?

    Tell me, please, that this is something available everywhere and not just in Ireland – it sounds great!

    Oh – a couple of things:

    1) per your post on adages, i will contribute: “There are nights when the wolves are silent and the moon howls.”;
    2) should you pass soon, i WILL use some of the $500 to appoint you final bed with a box of your favorite chocolates…assuming that happens soon; if this is going to be a long, drawn out affair, well, no promises.

  3. Grannymar,

    Here’s a guy who will never have to worry about somebody “Pulling the Plug”. He’ll die with a big smile on his face.

    He is 92 years old and goes in the confessional and says to the priest’” I have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

    Yesterday I picked up two college girls hitchhiking. We went to a motel where I had sex with both of them three times.”

    Priest:’ Are you sorry for your sins?”

    Man:”What sins?”

    Priest:” What kind of Catholic are you?”

    Man: ” I’m Jewish”

    Priest: “Then why are you telling me all this?”

    Man:” I’m 92 years old. I’m telling Everybody !!!!!!”

  4. Doc,

    Mauds Ice Cream started as a family business founded on Mothers’ Day, 1982, originally part of a family grocery business in Carnmoney, Co. Antrim, Northern Ireland. It was named after Maud, the head of the family business at that time.
    Two of it’s most popular flavours are Pooh Bear (honeycomb and vanilla) and Belgian Chocolate (fine milk chocolate slivers in vanilla).

    #1 above is good and as for #2 I am in no hurry to leave!

    Nancy, Men have all the fun! ;)

  5. you’re a great bloody tease, you are!

    i’ve a semi-good mind to come over there and eat every bit of your Pooh Bear ice cream and as much home-made chocolate cake as is possible to still roll madly about to evade the local authorities…

    ho far away does Grandad live: I should drop in on my adopted son…

  6. That’s the spirit! In fact, I am giving a “Last Meal” party this fall. Every guest has to bring the dish they would most like at their last meal.

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