Monthly Archives: September 2007

If this 29th September it must be……….

Today I am away from home in the Wonderful City of Kilkenny. Yes following trojan work behind the scenes PodCamp Ireland Day has dawned.

It is a little like Christmas. You have the mammies slaving away in the background collecting, mixing and blending all the ingredients to make sure all is ready for the feast.

Then you have the children waiting impatiently and expectantly for all the goodies to unfold before them.

The Mammies in this case are the organisers:

Bernie Goldbach

Brian Greene

Conn Ó Muíneacháin

Ken McGuire

Krishna De

The children are those of us who will sally forth in the hopes of learning something new, meeting and making new friends and having a little craic besides.

You never know I might find inspiration for a blog or three on the way.

See you next week. ((hugs))

Talk among Yourselves

The other day Hails over at Coffee Helps asked for inspiration for a blog post. My suggestion was ‘Stick a pin in your Blogroll. Open the one your pin has landed on, now take the fourth sentence from it and away you go!’

It gave me an idea and a challenge to all of you out there.

Now you know I am not into the ‘meme’ lark and that sort of thing, so here is my proposal:

Take one sentence from each of the people in your Blogroll. Then use this wonderful material to produce a post.

Simple!

Have fun.

I’ll be watching!

Back after PodCamp… well maybe not if I find a Toy boy…………!

Ready for the road

The case is packed, the car loaded and I am ready for the off… So to keep you amused while I am away I leave you with this:

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.

“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said,

“Did God throw him back down?”

+*+*+*+

Daphne invited her friend Mary and her family to dinner.

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,

“Would you like to say the grace?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mammy say,” Daphne answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

Today I was lurking…

Yesterday I was not in love with the BBC weatherman. He reminded us that the temperature had dropped. My bones did not need this reminder as they have been complaining for days. Over the past two days we were visited by heavy rain showers. The mercury dropped drastically before each spell of rain. The unlovable weatherman told us that throughout the UK the temperature had dropped an average of 10ºC in the couple of days. He went on to say that it looked like we had skipped autumn and gone straight into winter.

Today the sun is shining but it is VERY cold. My morning has passed lurking on blogs and chatting to my little Bro in Kangaroo land. “Lucky old you”, I hear you shout. I know some of you think I spend all day glued to my computer. That is not quite true. I work about the house and stop regularly to rest. Today is different.

Since I slept most of the afternoon yesterday due to the effects of a good stiff hot whiskey and some pills, to help ward off the sudden onset of cold or flu type symptoms(I have to shift it fast if I want to make it to PodCamp on Saturday). I awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. It was 6p.m. last time I looked at the clock it was 4.30p.m.

“Hello” I croaked. Oh Dear! I was rumbled. Dr Elly was at the other end of the line. “Mammy you sound dreadful” she said, “I was calling to say I had arranged a dairy free plate for you on Saturday at PodCamp.

Now I felt worse.

People were going out of their way to cater for my needs.

So like a naughty child I listened to the lecture about doing nothing for the next 36 hours and that the house would not fall apart if it is not dusted etc. etc. I have heard it all before, I think I wrote the script! The only trouble is I meant it for everyone else and not for me.

There was nothing for it, keep taking the pills(and the whiskey), and use my time uselessly usefully lurking…

I found myself reading about Happiness on Life Two. I liked the following piece, so I stole it to share with you.

Enjoy

* Happiness is a choice — a choice we make every day.
* Happiness is not a condition of our circumstances or external influences. It is a state of mind and heart.
* Happiness comes most often when we focus on solving other people’s pain and problems as opposed to thinking only of our own.
* Happiness isn’t what we have or who we are. It’s feeling valuable and worthy regardless of our station in life.
* Happiness is within everyone’s reach.

If I live and Dr Elly signs the release papers, I’ll see y’all on Saturday.

Robin Hood was a Saint!

According to todays Breaking News

Pope Benedict XVI today denounced what he called the world’s “profit mindset”.

He warned money can turn people into “blind egoists” and urging the wealthy to share their riches with the poor.

Benedict said life was about making choices between good and bad, between altruism and egoism, honesty and dishonesty.

Ultimately, he said, it was about making the choice between God and Satan.

“Money in itself isn’t ‘dishonest’, but more than any other thing it can close man off into a blind egoism,” Benedict said.

He called for a “conversion” of economic goods, “rather than using them for self-interest, we should also think about the needs of the poor, imitating Christ”.

I particularly like the ” urging the wealthy to share their riches with the poor.”

I wonder if he will lead the way and stand on the steps of St. Peter’s Basilica to distribute the enormous funds of the Catholic Church.

Did I hear the Phone?

While reading a post from Betty the other day called Sorry, wrong number, it reminded me of some calls I answered over the years. It gave me the idea to share some of them with you. Here I go stealing ideas again!

Back in the days when ‘The Telephone’ was a fixture like an immoveable feast, the phone was in the Hallway of our house near the foot of the stairs. No matter what hour it was or where you were when it started to ring, there was a charge of the Light Brigade to answer it. My mother was often heard to say “You sound like Guinness’s Horses!”

I actually remember the heavy rhythmic sound of the large Dray Horses from the Guinness’s Brewery as they pulled the heavy trailers over cobbled streets back to the Brewery at night. It was a comforting sound, heard as I lay in a great big bed at my (Dublin) Granny’s house on a summer’s night. Still daylight outside, the windows were open for air and the closed curtains with their large Cabbage Roses, billowed in the soft breeze.

Now back to my subject and the sample of calls to our house. We were taught to answer the phone with the number and not a name.

11.40p.m. Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: ****** (Number)
Caller
: The Gardai are outside. Click.

11.41p.m. Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: ****** (Number)
Caller
: Close the Bar, CLOSE THE BAR! Click.

11.42p.m. Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: ****** (Number)
Caller
: Close the Bar the Gardai are outside. Click

We got calls for a Pub that was at least two miles away on a regular basis half an hour after the official closing time at night. Our phones numbers had the same digits but in a different order. There was no point in complaining, as the callers never stayed on the line long enough to find out their mistake.

Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: ****** (Number)
Caller
: Is that **+**+?
Me
: No, you have a wrong number.
Caller
: Well if it is a wrong number, why did you answer it? Click.

Then there was the night…

Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Brother No.2: ****** (Number).
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah. I only heard one side of this conversation!

Brother No.2: I’m fine, how are you?
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

Brother No 2: When did that happen?
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

Brother No.2: Were you very late?
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

Brother No.2: How did it go?
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

Brother No.2: You miss me. Really!
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

Brother No.2: How much?
Caller
: Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

Brother No.2: Mmmm! I think I better get my Brother before you tell me any more secrets. Nice talking to you!
Caller
: I will NEVER phone that house again!

That call actually went on for 45 minutes without the young lady realising she was talking to the wrong brother. She and brother No.1 celebrated 40 years of marriage last week. Well done both of you and I wish you bliss and trouble free phone calls for the next forty years!

Nowadays when I get an incoming call for a number that is not my own, it might go something like this:

Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: Hello
Caller
: Would Joe be there?
Me
: I think you have the wrong number.
Caller
: Oh! I am very sorry for disturbing you. Click.

Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: Hello
Caller
: Would Joe be there?
Me
: Well I hope not, or my husband might not be well pleased! (I never tell them my husband died)

Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: Hello
Caller
: Can I speak to Joe?
Me
: Hold on while I check, I set the receiver down and walk deliberately and noisily away……

Minutes later

Me: Are you still there?
Caller
: Yes, is Joe there?
Me
: I checked under the bed and there is no sign of him!
Caller
: Click.

Ring-ring, ring-ring…

Me: Hello
Caller
: Would Frank be there?
Me
: Is he good-looking?
Caller
: Why?
Me
: Well if he is good-looking and a toy-boy he can stay!

I bet you are glad you don’t ring my number!

Nobody Remembered

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20th September was a 1st Anniversary for me!

To be truthful it was the first Birthday of my Baby. Now Elly calm down and don’t get all worked up. There is nothing for you to be excited about. Relax and rest up after all that travel round Europe. I will talk to you tomorrow.

The baby I refer to is my blog. The very first post consisted of five lines. Today I could ask the same question “Am I mad or just insane? What would I have to say that would be of interest to other people?”

I suppose I have improved a little and from time to time amused the odd passerby.

There is one thing for sure, it is much more fun that I ever expected. I have made friends across the globe, spoken to a few and physically met several. I hope not to have made any enemies along the road. Granny surely you know I love admire Grandad and his easy way with words.

I am now at the stage of feeling guilty on the days when I fail to find the words for a post. It is now more important to read the work of my new found friends and laugh, learn and sometimes weep at the stories they have to tell. Thank you one and all for help, encouragement and faithfully returning to to leave comments.

I never for one moment thought I would last a month never mind a full year.

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Cheers, thanks & hugs!

Grey Cells MOT Test

It’s that time of year for an annual Grey Cells MOT Test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Now take your time, you have all weekend to think it over.

Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

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Answer: “bread.” If you said “toast,” give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink??

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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as PC Magazine.

However, if you said “water”, proceed to question 3.

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3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks,” why are you still reading these???

If you said “glass,” go on to Question 4.

4. Its twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany, or no man’s land”?

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Answer: You don’t bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a dunce and you must stop. If you said, “You don’t bury survivors”, proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

What was the name of the bus driver?

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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember your own name?

It was YOU!!

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!