A man walked into the produce section of a Dublin Supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce.
The boy working in that department told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back storeroom the boy said to the manager, “Some butt hole out there wants to buy a half head of lettuce.” As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,” And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.”
The manager approved of the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy,” I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?”
“I’m from Cork, Sir.”
“Well, why did you leave Cork?” the manager asked.
The boy said,” There’s nothing but prostitutes and football players down there, sir.”
“Really, says the manager,” My wife is from Cork.”
“No foolin'” replied the boy.” Who’d she play for?”