Thursday Special ~ A half or a Whole

A man walked into the produce section of a Dublin Supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back storeroom the boy said to the manager, “Some butt hole out there wants to buy a half head of lettuce.” As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,” And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager approved of the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy,” I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?”

“I’m from Cork, Sir.”

“Well, why did you leave Cork?” the manager asked.

The boy said,” There’s nothing but prostitutes and football players down there, sir.”

“Really, says the manager,” My wife is from Cork.”

“No foolin'” replied the boy.” Who’d she play for?”

18 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ A half or a Whole

  1. Ian


    I once told a story about Manorhamilton, Co Leitrim at a dinner, only for a grey suited man opposite me to say his wife was from there. It got worse when the MC introduced the grey suited man as Lieutenant General and former chief of staff of the defence forces – a moment when the ground opening up would have been welcome

  2. Nick

    Nice one! I wish I was one of those people with a knack of wriggling out of awkward situations but unfortunately I’m more the speechless with embarrassment and wanting to vanish type….

  3. Buzz Killington

    I’m not sure how many people in Dublin/from Cork would ever dare utter the phrase ‘butt-hole’


A penny for your thoughts...