A date

Rick O’Shea of RTE-2FM fame, always one for mischief, is encouraging us to ask someone out on a date this week.

So, on Thursday we’re asking you to finally ask out that person you’ve been dying to go out with for ages. Maybe it’s someone you work with, a friend or just someone you see on the bus every day.

It made me think.

How many people out there pine after, or quietly fantasise over someone without finding the courage to ask them out on a date. If you are in a relationship, how did you come to be on your first date? Did it take forever to get around to it? You all know my story, because I made a Podcast about it.

Modern media give us stereotypes of what we should look for in an ideal soul mate.

What is ideal? Do you have fixed ideas? Did you sit down and write out a list?

Is the ideal woman

  • a size zero, six foot tall, high-earning career woman who can whip up the perfect soufflé in a matter of minutes?
  • a pretty 5ft 8in blue-eyed blonde – who is good in bed and doesn’t earn too much.
  • a busty beauty who will be a physically fit size 12, weigh a trim nine-and-a-half stones, live on her own and occasionally wear glasses.

Is the ideal Man

  • a high earning ‘suit’ who drives a Mercedes and lives in a £1,000,000 property.
  • intelligent with a wacky, entertaining personality and an optimistic outlook on life.
  • a sporty outdoor guy with well toned muscles

Have you a list with check boxes?

Eye colour
Long or short hair
Does/not wear glasses
Height – tall, medium or petite
Slim or curvy
Outlook optimistic
Good in bed
Property – owns, rents or at home
Outlook optimistic
Own transport
Drinks occasionally
Loves clubbing
Into Sports
Children yes/no
Animal lover/not

Does anyone make that list or are we all ruled by the chemical spark, jumping blindly in without thinking?

31 thoughts on “A date

  1. Sinéad C

    It’s almost as if men and women have a fake-ideal partner and real-ideal partner.

    The fake-ideal partner is the fantasy: the over-exaggeration, the Hollywood version, the pornographic version – born from all the media stereotypes, and totally unrealistic. E.g. the lists above. It is the fake-ideal that we discuss and claim a desire for because it feels more socially acceptable. The motivation to claim that we deserve this fantasy man or woman is to project an air of self-assurance and worth to others.

    I’ve known many a woman who has admitted being secretly attracted to guys with hairy backs or chests – but would be far too embarrassed to admit it, at least sober anyway. And I’ve known many a man who has said that that being with a skinny girl is about as comfortable as having sex with a bicycle and that they’d much rather feel a warm, soft, round body. But they’d never admit it openly, because yes, they’d get totally and utterly slagged off.

    That’s my two cents anyway 🙂

  2. chrisb

    Fantasy is all very well but in the end I think it’s it’s all down to who we meet and attraction. However I’m sure there are plenty of men out there who a looking for a trophy wife and women who are looking for a meal ticket~ cynical I know !!

  3. Grannymar Post author

    Primal ~ today there is no need for the Racecourse Aawwwww!

    Sinead ~ welcome. I laughte at ‘man who has said that that being with a skinny girl is about as comfortable as having sex with a bicycle’… it brought me back 30 years! I have often repeated the story of my husband announcing to my family in the early daysof our marriage, that going to bed with me was like going to bed with a clothes horse! The clothes horse he had in mind was the wooden type our grandmothers used to air clothes! I was a bag of bones then and not much better now. It was said with a twinkle of his eye and a gentle squeeze.

    Chris ~ A trophy wife or a meal ticket are cold comfort, but even less are those who marry because they are afraid to be alone.

  4. Grannymar Post author

    If you asked me that question ‘what UK men find attractive in women?’ I could hand on heart say me! 😀

    Eyes, and an open face do it for me!

  5. steph


    I’m gonna have to keep my ‘man’ well away from you 😉

    He’s not far off your vintage, has snowy white hair and…

    he’s got brown eyes that would make you melt, an open face

    and a British passport!

  6. Grannymar Post author


    Liquid chocolate eyes! sigh!

    Silver locks! Mmmmm!

    Note to self… Find out where Steph lives and when she goes out! 😉

  7. Grannymar Post author

    Then you are safe!

    My muscles are like sparrow’s kneecaps, love handles what are they?

  8. Lord Bloggit

    Single professional guy here …. own home …. own dogs and own Merc ….

    and the asking out on a date is where I’ve always fallen down.

    I’ve fancied many over the years but the bloody fear I’ve had in asking a woman out has always held me back.

    Have I (had I) an ideal? …. nope …. some qualities …. pretty, unassuming, a lover of the outdoors …. i could go on 🙂

    At this stage in my life I’m not looking for that ‘elusive’ partner anymore ….

  9. Grannymar Post author

    Lord Bloggit, ~ try asking when you are sitting down 😉

    My late MIL had a saying ‘The world is full of goodlooking nothings!’ It is another way of saying: fancy wrapped empty packages!

    My suggestion would be to meet someone for coffee in a public place. If it goes well then stay longer or meet again. If it is not working then you have only lost the hour and the price of a couple of coffees.

    Steph ~ Elly sure has Love handles (don’t tell her I said that)!

  10. Nancy


    I was just speaking to a male friend of mine on the telephone and asked him the question you asked us: ” What type of woman would he be most interested in?”

    His answer was:” A 21 year old nymphomaniac who drives a Jag and owns a liquor store.”

  11. Baino

    A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this… ‘Looking for man who won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’
    She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.
    The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.”
    So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?”

    Bob replies, “I rang the door bell didn’t I?

  12. Lord Bloggit

    Thanks for the advice Grannymar 🙂

    Been there …. done that …..

    Some people find that special someone …. others don’t ..

    For a variety of reasons I’m one of the ones who didn’t. Age brings acceptance.

    Ní thagann ciall roimh aois ….. I think that aois has brought a different perspective to my life ….. life is too short for regrets.

    Nice one Baino! 🙂

  13. Grannymar Post author

    Nancy ~ your friend sure wants a party!

    Baino! 😀

    Steph ~ I don’t need to.

    Lord Bloggit ~ never give up love bites when we least expect it, and sometimes when we don’t want it.

  14. Grannymar Post author

    Well done Rosie! Enjoy.

    As an aside I do not have a fella, on my own for 10 years now. Grandad belongs to Granny from Granny Lost the Plot.

  15. Magpie 11

    Playing catchup after a busy week…..

    Okay, I’m married and neither of us is perfect…certainly not me.

    Two comments…Every time I meet her she’d different but always likes me…or says/implies she does and no, I don’t stray….

    It still hurts as much at 61 as at 18!

  16. Magpie 11

    Crumbs my typig id tewibble!

    Every time I meet her (the perfect woman) she’s different…….

    The heart can break and ache just as much at 61 as at 18…or is that a
    man thing? Which I some how doubt!…..


A penny for your thoughts...