10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.

  1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  3. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it “in”.
  4. Don’t use any punctuation.
  5. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  6. Go to a poetry recital, and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?
  7. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
  8. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
  9. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Exit, yelling “Run for your lives! They’re loose!”
  10. Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

22 thoughts on “10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.

  1. steph

    I L-I-K-E these ideas, GM

    I suppose that confirms I’m already insane πŸ˜€

    Though I’ve never seen Diet Water with a serious face πŸ˜†

  2. Phil

    ha – must try some of these. i remember a few years ago a friend asked for a large cock on mcdonalds with a straight face. i couldn’t keep a straight face at all.

  3. Nick

    Diet Water? Great idea. But Diet Lettuce is more nutritious. You’re looking very reflective in the Irish Times piece, Grannymar. Were you mentally fine-tuning your next post?

  4. Grannymar

    @Phil – Should you say things like that to GM πŸ™„

    @Nick – I was drinking diet water and looking for Toyboys! πŸ˜€

    @Darren – I would have said 40% sane! Doyler told me to say that!

    @Michael L – Welcome to the party. How is life in Tazmania?

    @Lottie – I hope you wouldn’t do that to me? πŸ˜₯

    @Keiron – with a fluorescent marker!

    @Annie – At least I am upright! πŸ˜‰ I really look old surrounded by all you younglings.

    @Lorna – Thank you!

  5. Magpie 11

    im all for number four because it would have made my job easier i am a teacher and marking essays and compostions without having to bother with puntification would havebeen easy i would only have to worry about content and ideas

    Number three is a shortened version of my filing system known as JPIT and WPB (Just put it there and Wastepaper basket).
    Children in my class soon got used to If in Doubt Sling it Out

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