Two 90 year old women, Rose and Barbara, had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, ‘Rose, we both loved playing women’s softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favour when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s soft-ball there.’
Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, ‘Barb, you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favour for you.’
Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
At midnight a few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, ‘Barb, Barb.’
‘Who is it?’ asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. ‘Who is it?’
‘Barb — it’s me, Rose.’
‘You’re not Rose. Rose is dead.’
‘I’m telling you, it’s me, Rose,’ insisted the voice.
‘Rose! Where are you?’
‘In Heaven,’ replied Rose. ‘I have some really good news and a little bad news.’
‘Tell me the good news first,’ said Barb.
‘The good news,’ Rose said, ‘is that there’s softball in heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.’
‘That’s fantastic,’ said Barb. ‘It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?’
‘You’re pitching Tuesday.’
lol – great story 🙂
nasty punchline. I may want to steal it for a party some place as it’s a clean one. Can I has?
Don’t give ’em all away before the Blog awards now!
I come here via paddybloggit’s blog out of curiosity and find this blog to be fascinating. I look forward to your taking up Paddy’s challenge.
Since you say “My kinda people are: caring, friendly, good mannered and have a good sense of humour and hate: Bad manners, loud music, ageing, aches & pains, having to take pills to keep me going.” I find you even more fascinating. I share all these with you bar the last bit of taking pills to keep going.
I hope that you would not mind my visiting often and commenting on your posts. I am totally harmless as Paddy can vouch for.
That is a lovey story that you have posted and I think that you will find this interesting too.
Everyone at the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced “Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.” Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, “My daughter finally returned my credit card to me.”
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter ………. all except the poor Groom!
Feel free to drop by my blog and leave a comment or two.
@Joe – I am glad I made you smile.
@Will – Steal away. Once a story is told it belongs to all who hear it.
@Baino – I am hoping to pick up some more stories when I go to the Blog Awards!
@Rummuser – Welcome on board. I too have travelled via Paddy Bloggit’s blog to your place and lurked a while. I promise to set aside some time with a cup of coffee to really read and enjoy your treasures!
I will take up the challenge you set Paddy and he in turn passed to me, but it might be a couple of days before I get to it.
OUCH! I hope I don’t get that communique any time soon.
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they “oohed and aahed” the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
“It’s free,” Peter replied, “this is Heaven.”
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, “what are the green fees?”.
Peter’s reply, “This is heaven, you play for free.”
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine’s of the world laid out.
“How much to eat?” asked the old man.
“Don’t you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!” Peter replied with some exasperation.
“Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?” the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, “That’s the best part…you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.”
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, “This is all your fault. If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”
@Judy – Me too! I am having far too much fun.
@Steph – 😆 I will never eat bran muffins again.
I once sat with a lady of 97 who was approaching the final hurdle.
“Tell me”, she said, “what age will I be in heaven?”
“I don’t know”, I said, “I guess heaven is a place where we will always be at our best”.
“Good”, she said, contentedly, “I don’t want to spend eternity as a little old lady”.
It was a thought provoking moment.
I don’t like to think about that too much… 🙁
It might end up like Paddy’s harem….. Jack surrounded by women!
Well I can only go by what it was like when he was here…. they flocked around him…
BUT, he came home to me! 😀
Loved that story 🙂
The big question for me is, when I get to heaven will I have to mix with all those obnoxious people I’ve so far managed to get away from? Or will they all be banished to an alternative heaven somewhere else? Or will I magically acquire a liking for them all?
All this thought of an afterlife is making me wish there was a way to halt the aging process…
Will you lot just let me have a rest from all the giggles please?
And the out loud cackles?
As for halting the ageing process…I heard the other day that,”Those who take the longest to grow up make the best adults!” That’s my current excuse!
@Chrisb – 😀
@Nick – You will have to stop talking like that or you’ll not get to heaven. 🙄
@ChrisD – If you discover it, please let me know!
@Magpie – I feel your pain! I never realised that there such a thing as laughter muscles. They hurt like hell.
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