On Thursday morning I woke suddenly. I quickly realised it was early, very, very early, because the sound of heavy sleeping reached me through two closed doors. The uncomfortable feeling of a vice around my chest was familiar and I knew how to deal with it. I used my spray and propped myself up on the pillows. Lying back I listened as the world about me came to life. A dog barking in the distance, a door & gate closing outside followed by a car engine turning over.
Waiting ten minutes I used the spray for the second time. Slowly the tightness eased and as the veins opened I developed the usual headache – a good sign – the spray was working! No need to call for help. Staying quiet and calm was the correct method of dealing with this situation. It would pass and I would travel home as planned, even if an hour or two later in the day. I had my own set of keys, so all I had to do was lock up and go.
Elly came into the room when she got up and offered to bring me breakfast in bed, I accepted her offer. She sat on the bed & chatted for a few minutes before going to work while I ate my cereal and took my tablets. We hugged and said our farewells and off she went to an early meeting.
At 9am a wave of exhaustion swept over me, again a familiar feeling. I decided to give in and snooze for an hour. Sleep took over and the next thing I knew it was 2.30 in the afternoon. I had actually slept for longer than I do at a stretch on any night. I texted Elly to let her know I was still in Dublin and not traveling. Again she was at a meeting so her reply was an acknowledgment of my message.
Elly arrived home at her normal time of 7pm. I was back in bed again my then yawning my head off, and I saw the worry in her face when she came into the room. “Why did you not tell me?” She asked, as did George an hour later when he came home. Had I told them they would both have stayed home and missed a days work. There was no need for that this time. Save the days for when I really need help.
The strange thing about Thursday afternoon was I woke from a dream. I seldom dream, or if I do, I don’t recall them. This one was very vivid. I was in Dundrum (Dublin). I know Dundrum very well, one of my siblings lives there. The Dundrum of my dreams bore no resemblance to the place where they live.
I was walking on a pavement along an underpass facing the oncoming traffic. There were two cars approaching. The first I saw in great detail. It was black and small like a mini. Inside were two white haired ladies traveling at speed, far too fast for the road ahead. I had two folded supermarket bags in my hand and waved them in the ‘slow down’ motion. I vividly remember the driver turning to look at me like I was crazy. I must have turned and followed the movement of the car because I saw it hit the pavement, somersault and when it had righted the roof was gone and two naked torsos were visible with torn clothes and plenty of blood.
I pulled my mobile from my pocket and called 999.
With that I woke up!