It was supposed to be one of my rest days.  However, I was awake in time to hear the shipping weather forecast at 5.20 am on BBC Radio 4 .  I lay and listened until about seven fifteen before hunger pangs got the better of me.

Going to the kitchen, I filled & boiled the kettle then set my muesli covered in orange juice, a side bowl of dried fruit & nuts, the mornings medication, a beaker and a coffee pot filled with boiling water on a tray.  Back I went to bed with my feast.  I was determined to stay in bed for a couple more hours.  Tobias was patiently waiting to amuse me when the food was finished.

The calm was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.  Wrapped in my dressing gown I went to investigate.  With a bunch of keys like those of a jailer I undid the locks and opened the door expecting to see the Post man with a large letter or parcel.

It was not the Post man.

It was a young man.  He had my address.  He seemed surprised that I was not expecting him.

Ok!  So this is where you come in….

Which of you asked the Environmental Health Department to come and FUMIGATE my house????

I told the guy he was a little early and he offered to come back.

“You are 363 days early” I said.  “April Fools day has passed for this year!”

He was not amused.

I was!

I finally convinced him that he had the incorrect address and sent him on his way.

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I got figgety and had to get up.  I needed to clean something, anything to rid myself of the feeling that my house was dirty.  The sun was shining so I went outdoors selected a task and set to work.  Several hours later I had this to show for my pains:

Never mind the state of the bucket it had served well for about 30 years.  The brown stuff inside it came from the spouting at the front of my bungalow .  Don’t tell Elly I was climbing a ladder, she will kill me.  In the past cleaning the spouts would have taken me about two hours all told.  It took me most of the day this time, I move more slowly now and needed to stop for rest several times.  I managed to clear up and put everything away before the rain started.

I have been resting ever since!  No! I will not climb up to clean the spouts at the back, as it is as high as a two story house.  I will find a toyboy to do that job for me.