Daily Archives: April 24, 2009

When you turn the key in the back door

Tuesday was a busy day and I was away from home for several hours.  My last port of call was the supermarket.  Time to replenish my store cupboard and stock up on dry goods.  Supermarket shopping is very tiring… I handled each and every item SIX times before I even thought of cooking anything.  Think about it!

  1. Put the items in the trolley
  2. Lift onto the conveyor belt
  3. Put back into the trolley
  4. Lift into car
  5. Lift out of car
  6. Pack away in cupboards

By the time all that was done and I had a very late lunch, it was time for a rest.  Feet up for half an hour followed by a tour of the world on the blogs and I was ready to sort out the ironing.  A couple of long distance chats and a phone call or three later and my tummy called for dinner.

Crossing the living floor about 8pm I wondered if I had put the car away.  Stepping out the front door the car was patiently waiting. Tapping my jeans pocket I was happy to pull the door behind me, no need to give any local cats or mice an invitation to investigate inside.

My hand was just about inside my pocket as the door clicked shut.  The bulk in my pocket was from a bundle of clothes pegs and not my keys!  So there was I standing in the garden looking at my car.  The front door was SHUT and all the windows were closed!

Disaster I hear you shriek!

Not at all.  I am well prepared.  I keep a key buried in the garden.  No it is not under the mat, a flowerpot or a stone,  I have no intention of telling the world where it is.  I keep it well protected from the elements and I remember where it is.

So I recovered the spare key and went to the back door.  WHAAAA!  I had the correct key but it would not work.


When you lock the back door from the inside I suggest you then remove the key!

Dangling from the inside were my bunch of keys.

My back door leads out into a north facing garden.  There are a few flagged steps to drop down to the level of the patio.  In winter the frost seldom leaves the garden so I do not open that door for the duration.  Were I to fall in the back garden I would lie there preserved until springtime!  I access the garage and the various bins from the front door.  With the return of the better weather I began to open the back door and use the outdoor line to dry my washing.

On Tuesday when I carried in the dry clothes for ironing, I turned the key and left it hanging from the lock.  Why?  The phone was ringing.  Well you never know it might be a toyboy! 🙄  It was a gentleman and he asked if he could speak to JOE.

Quick as lightening I said “No, I am sorry, you cannot speak to Joe!”

“Why?” asked the caller.

“Because he is in the wardrobe!” I said and hung up quickly.  Come on, when you live alone you need some fun!

So there I was locked out of my house and not a toyboy in sight.  Tobias was sitting inside on the table with pings and dings all over the shop.  The car was unlocked so I sat into it, to gather my thoughts and sort out my options.  There was no car at the house opposite but perhaps one of the young couple would be there.  All I needed was a metal coat hanger.  I knew it would work.  Three years previously it cost me £83 to learn that much.  I had locked myself out once before.  On that occasion I had to call a Locksmith.  That was before I buried the spare key.  I watched closely how he solved the problem, I would never be stuck again.  Well I would not be stuck so long as I had a metal coat hanger.

No joy at the young couples house, they were out for the evening.  Who would I turn to next.  Which household would have a metal clothes hanger.  Which neighbour would help without causing a fuss or add stress to the situation.  Which neighbour would I approach and ask ” Do you have a metal coat hanger, I want it to break into my house?

I made my choice.   This couple were home.  The lady of the house found me a metal hanger.  She called her husband in from the garden shed.  She would not let me go home alone with the metal coat hanger in case I had more problems.  The husband would not let me go home alone with a metal coat hanger because he was curious to know how I would break into my own house.

So I walked back home with another woman’s husband and a metal coat hanger!  This woman’s husband told me he is due to retire at the end of next month.  Retire!  I have just trained him for a new profession 😳

No!  I am not going to tell the whole of the internet how I broke into my own house with a metal coat hanger.  If you want to know, it will cost you £83.