Thursday Special ~ HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose in to other people’s business.  Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member of the church, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon.  She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny… He said nothing.

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house.  He walked home……And left it there all night!!!

You gotta love Frank…….

An old one, but a good one.  Did you send it to me?

15 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP

  1. Grannymar Post author

    James,

    Welcome! Good to have you finally out from behind the lurking curtain. See I told you it was easy and painless. Enjoy the fun and have your say.

    Reply
  2. Nancy

    Grannymar,

    I love “Revenge” stories. One of the best is about the woman who put an ad in the paper to sell a 2009 top of the line Mercedes for $25.00.

    This fellow calls and asks if it is true and that $25.00 is the right price. She tells him that is correct! He tells her to hold the car and he will be right there.

    After the deal is signed, sealed and delivered he asks her why she sold him this beautiful new $80,000 car for $25.00.

    She answers, “My husband has been running around with his secretary for years. He died last week and when they read his will he had left the money from the sale of his Mercedes to his secretary.”

    Reply
  3. rummuser

    Nancy, that is another story that will do the rounds here! Thanks.
    Here is another one to tickle some male bones! Sorry ladies just could not resist the temptation to use this forum.

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

    I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

    “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

    We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

    She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”

    I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

    Reply
  4. Joi Ferguson

    Hi good to find you, and thank you for ensuring I had at least 1 smile for the day.

    I have recently joined the blogging world and have no idea what to do to ensure more readers.

    Anything you can do to help will be much appreciated.

    Look forward to hearing from you. Joi Ferguson

    Reply
  5. Grannymar Post author

    Joi, welcome on board.

    You have found the answer. Visit plenty of blogs and enter the conversation, that way people will find you.

    Reply
  6. Sam

    ha ha – that’s a good one!! Sadly there are too many people that DO jump to the wrong conclusion just because they don’t think!

    Reply

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