More Pay to Stay
At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a
larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave
because he is so popular.
Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the district, stands
up and proclaims; ‘If the Vicar stays I will provide him with a new
Holden every year and his wife a Honda mini-van to transport their
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands up and says,
‘If the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary
and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school
education for his children!’
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, aged 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the
Vicar stays I will give him sex!’
There is total silence within the congregation.
The Vicar, blushing, asks her, ‘Mrs Jones, you’re a wonderful and
holy lady, but whatever possessed you to say that?’
Agnes’s 90 year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to
side, while his wife replies, ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we
could help and he said,’ Fuck him
I don’t remember who sent this… do you want to own up if you did?