Thursday Special ~ Confession

Catholic guy goes into the confessional box.

He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.

On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars.

Then the priest comes in.

“Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days.”

The priest replies “Get out. You’re on my side.”

23 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ Confession

  1. gaelikaa

    Hilarious! But mind you now, I never did notice a smell of beer or cigars in the confessional. Those little boxes are quite airtight you know, you couldn’t get away with boozing and smoking so easily in there.

  2. steph


    I have a confession to make…

    I’ve never been to confession 😯

    Do you have to put money in a slot to have a go? 😉

  3. Grannymar Post author

    @gaelikaa – Welcome on board. Those dark little boxes were very frightening to a little girl.

    @Steph – I have not been myself for many a long year. Nowadays I prefer the direct route! 😉

  4. Nick

    Shouldn’t there also be a hot line to the betting shop?

    The only person I confess to is my loved one. Well, I don’t confess quite everything, there are a few little things I keep to myself….

  5. Nancy

    How about the kid who went to confession and told the priest that he had stolen lumber.

    Priest: “For stealing that lumber you must say two Our fathers and three Hail Marys.”

    The next week the kid was back again and confessed he had stolen more lumber.

    Priest: “For again stealing lumber you must say three rosaries and twelve Acts of Contrition.”

    Next week the kid was back again. Same story,he had stolen lumber.

    The priest was wild and said,” Young man, Do you know how to make a Novena?”

    “No Father, but if you have the plans, I know where we can get the lumber.”

  6. Grannymar Post author

    @Tikno – Welcome to my blog. ‘The Thursday Special’ is always a light hearted joke, and I wish never to cause offence.

    @Nick – Perhaps that was under the counter! 😉

    @Kate – I bet you were not the only one! 😀

    @Nancy – Handy kid to know 😉

  7. Rumuuser

    The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears several confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

    The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand.”

    The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, “Try saying things like, ‘I see, yes, go on, and I understand, how did you feel about that?”

    The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, ‘No way! What happened next?'”

  8. Grannymar Post author


    I wonder how long before it is back with the first person who emailed it? These stories seem to round and round.

  9. Baino

    Haha . . I have a friend who’s a priest and he reminds me that he can drink, smoke, gamble, . .it’s only the wild, wild, women he’s not allowed to go near! In my experience, the Friary near us has the best bar in christendom! And don’t think I haven’t seen you in Liquorland Fr Tony! You stand out like a sore thumb in that Franciscan cassock!

  10. wisewebwoman

    Oh thanks, GM, that explains old Father H in the box on Saturday afternoons, back in the day. Sometimes we actually had to go in on his side and give him a poke to wake him up 🙂 )

  11. Grannymar Post author

    @Darlene – And such value too… three for the price of one today!

    @WWW – I remember an Order church in Dublin where all the ancient priests were on Saturday afternoon confessional duty. Ah hell! I’ll save it for another post some day! 😀

    @JD – Welcome back!


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