Thursday Special ~ When it is not going well.

WIFE vs HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a farmyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’
‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’

)( )( )( )( )(

WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day. 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’

*+*+*+*


CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Thank you Stephanie Shine!

20 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ When it is not going well.

  1. Ursula

    Grannymar, the first one is good.

    The other two, “Words” and “Creation”, are rather condescending and, if I were a man, I’d take objection to. As it is I am the mother of a son. I have never done a word count but I believe us to be well matched in verbal output.

    As to any partner of my son, now and in the future, a very intelligent woman indeed. And she won’t make any sweeping mother-in-law jokes other than those tailored to me.

    U

    Reply
  2. Nick

    He he. Of course the woman’s extra 15,000 words are also because she has to keep explaining how to boil an egg, how to iron a shirt, how to turn on the hoover….

    (And no, I have no male loyalty whatever. A good joke is a good joke….)

    Reply
  3. Maynard

    Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws
    God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you
    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’

    Ugly animals–stupid—what?

    Am I missing something?

    Reply
  4. kenju

    Excellent jokes. They all sound like mr. kenju and me.

    He said to me yesterday…”If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard you say…’WHAT??”, I’d be rich!”

    Reply
  5. Grannymar Post author

    Ursula – I wish you were a fly on the wall here this week to hear the banter and teasing that goes on between Elly, my son-in-law and myself. The rafters ring as we laugh with and at each other, laughter is a great healer and we are having fun.

    Nick – I knew you would enjoy them.

    Brighid – I grew up in a house with five men! I certainly learned not to take the things they said seriously.

    Steph – Glad you enjoyed them.

    Gaelikaa – Good.

    Maynard – You are far too good looking to be stupid!

    Reply
  6. Nancy

    Grannymar,

    How about the boy who asked his Mother where he had come from.

    She proceeded to tell him the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and how they loved each other and had children,etc.

    The boy said,”That’s not what Dad told me. He said we descended from the great apes and baboons and monkeys and all.”

    The Mother turned to the boy and said,” Well, son,I was telling you about MY family and he was telling you about HIS.”

    Reply
  7. Magpie11

    Round and round they go!

    I love pigs…highly intelligent animals and they taste good too!

    How many of you women (PC will ot allow me to call you ladies) find yourself explaining things that you really needn’t explain or have explained five minutes ago? Or is that just to do with age?

    Reply
  8. Grannymar Post author

    Magpie,I know quite a few women who like to be in control. The problem is that the spouse decide that there is no point in making a decision as they will be told to do things differently.

    Reply
  9. Nancy

    My final word on the subject is this story.

    A woman was driving alone along a deserted stretch of highway in Wyoming when she saw an Indian woman walking along the road. She stopped and asked the woman if she wanted a ride.

    The Indian woman accepted and sat in the passenger seat of the car but did not say one word for miles. Then she noticed a bottle of wine on the seat next to her and asked the driver,” What is this?” The woman answered,”It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”

    The Indian said,” GOOD TRADE.”

    Reply
  10. Grannymar Post author

    Nancy – That is even better than the first one!

    Magpie – Nancy is a walking story book! 😀

    Reply

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