Now this is a secret!

Be careful who is peeping over your shoulder while you look at this:-

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She is away this weekend so it is safe to tell you.  I know she will be far too busy to read this.

In her absence she has appointed two minders to take care of me…. anyone would think I was a child sitting eating chocolate bikkies all the day long.

Darragh & Niamh are looking after me very well.  In fact they are spoiling me something rotten!

I discovered they had their instructions before they left Dublin and you never believe what they were told to do!!!!  Just take a look:-

Morning – I make sure mum is up between 6 – 7 am and that she dresses herself, but may need help putting on her Right sock (it says R on the sock so that she knows) and will nearly certainly need her shoes tightened before heading for a walk.  When she squeals at this, pull tighter and tell her ‘Pride feels no pain’!  If she refuses to get up, use the police whistle hanging outside her door. If that doesn’t work, there’s a silver bucket you can fill with cold water to throw on her. Don’t worry about the damp sheets.

Breakfast – Mum eats a set brekkie, as per her recent post, there are 9 boxes on the top shelf of the pantry, the bowl with her name painted on the outside, a mug, hot water pot, spoon and ramekin for the fruit & nuts. she takes hot water to drink and orange juice on her museli. She’ll take tablets at this point. Make sure she eats everything. I don’t allow her to leave the table until it’s all gone.  If she refuses to finish breakfast, just give it to her again for lunch.

Morning walk – try to encourage her to head out as soon as breakfast is over, never mind if she complains about the cold. Bracing air is good for the chest.  Make sure you walk her fast uphill, keep her going for over a mile. I think she looks for the easy option. When you get home, she’ll take coffee and a little treat (choccie biccies in the pantry) Only if she’s good. She should be encouraged to lie down for an hour afterwards. Carry her to the bedroom if you have to.

Lunch/Dinner – Really she’s been piling on the weight recently (who is she kidding, my two legs are almost the same size again!)so look after yourselves. Give her something nice if she deserves it. I tend to ration the food by how much she’s behaved and hiked during the day.

Afternoon walk – a second walk plus a set of exercises is essential. She should be encouraged to lie down for an hour afterwards. Again, I don’t mind if you have to strap her in. I’ve left those on the hall table.  It is afterall the only way you will have any peace!

Evening – mum likes to eat before 7pm and needs to take more tablets with this meal.

9:00 – 10:00pm – Mum heads to bed and takes in her laptop on her little table. Please put laptop on charge and bring her a mug of hot water. Don’t take any funny business from her. She must be in bed by 10 sharp!

11:00pm – take mum in a glass of fruit juice (not orange – she’s not been well behaved enough to deserve it).  Lights must go out at this time……….

No we won’t tell her we are having a whale of a time, Disco on Friday night, last night we played Darts in a local pub and today we are off for a little ice skating….

I might just have time to catch my breath before she returns or sends in the nursing police. 😉