When I’m upset…

I now lead a simple life and ‘upset’ is not something I encounter very often.  Large or small ‘upsets’ are not good for my heart so I try not to let them interfere.  A Consultant said to me recently “You know your body very well, listen to it and deal with situations in the correct way!”  When you live alone you have to.  Were I to panic every time my heart went into spasm, it would make things worse and I would spend half my life in A&E or worse…..

On the World scale I am surrounded with natural disaster, disease, famine, war and the effects of greed.  I am unable to solve these problems on my own, so I must step back and hope that those more talented, capable and with the expertise will provide the solutions necessary.

Since I am human, well…. I think I am, nature has a way of raising the hackles every now and then.  It is usually something that others decide I must do, think or feel.

When I have a problem niggling at me, I go quiet, working it through in my mind.

I remember Jack saying to me once “Your mother was right!”

“In what respect?” I asked.

“She told me before we married, that if you were very quiet, to leave you to your thoughts, as you were working through a problem!”

“Really!”  I said.

“Darling, you have hardly spoken for three days, and only now have you shared what was on your mind.”

So, as in the Reinhold Niebuhr prayer: I am accepting the things I cannot change and moving on.  I change the things I can, and hope I have enough wisdom to know the difference between the ‘can’ and the ‘cannot’!

13 thoughts on “When I’m upset…

  1. Nick

    I’m often very quiet and likewise people assume I’m thinking through some difficult problem. Usually I’m not, I’m not very good at thinking anything through systematically, I’m more likely just daydreaming. Or as the famous quote has it “Sometimes I sits and thinks, sometime I just sits.”

  2. Rhyleysgranny

    That is a wise way to sort things out. I tend to fly off the handle in the face of injustice which solves nothing. I do find it wise not to make decisions about anything important late in the day. The morning after a good night’s sleep is the time to think clearly. My family are well used to me saying ‘I’ll tell you tomorrow’.
    I think your Jack was a very canny man.

  3. Rummuser

    Grannymar, what brought that on? Very unlike you. You have on excellent authority that you are human, so stop thinking that one through. Like all of us, you are fallible. Stop thinking that one through too.

    Silent reflection, what you call contemplating the navel is a very useful pursuit. I should know. Like Nick, I too sits and thinks often and I find it very refreshing.

    If however, you need a sounding board, you know what you can do.

  4. momma

    I too, find that when I think of the problems we are all facing today I feel helpless to find a solution. I have finally taken your course of leaving them to more capable people. Oh I rant a little sometimes but like the old theory of ‘never piss into the wind’ it won’t do any good to worry on.

  5. Geri Atric

    I am so sorry to read that you are not in the best of health GM. But after following your blog for so long, there is one thing about your heart that I am absolutely sure of – it is always in the right place!

    Personally, I too ‘close down’ when something has upset me. Unfortunately though, this closing down also often makes me feel numb and ‘hardened’ to whomever or whatever has upset me so badly. Knowing this, I bring myself ‘back’ by playing melancholy songs and crying my eyes out, until I feel better! (Favouorite sob-songs amongst others, include: “I’ll put you together again” by Hot Chocolate and “Everybody hurts by REM)!
    Sounds ridiculous I know, but it works for me. After the induced crying I find I can rejoice in feeling real human emotions again: empathy, renewed tolerance and just as importantly – self confidence and the strength to tackle ‘things’ again!
    Take care GM xx

  6. Grannymar Post author

    Nick – I have done my share of sitting and doing nothing in the past few months. Now with the brighter days and sunshine I want to keep moving and make up for lost time.

    Rhyleysgranny – Yee are reet, wor Jackie wez a canny gadgie frem the North East of England! 😀

    Ramana – I am in fine fettle and was out enjoying the sunshine for a couple of hours. Alas I forgot the camera.

    Momma – Sometimes we waste precious time worrying about what might never happen.

  7. Grannymar Post author

    Steph – Thanks for the hugs, I am fine and in great form. It was one of those ‘What the h**k will I write about today’ days, sorry to worry everyone.

    Judy – Living alone can be verrrrrry quiet. I am still waiting for the walls to learn to speak! 😉

    Geri – Right now I am actually better than I have been for months… apart from the bits wearing out or falling off! 🙁 I use music to get me going or to set my mood in the morning time. The place gets rather crowded when a Male voice choir tunes up!! I open the windows and hope I fool the neighbours! 🙄

  8. Baino

    I wish I could be quiet and contemplative. I tend to release pressure with a tanty now and then! Glad you’re alright this was rather contemplative, I was a little worried for you for a moment.

  9. Grannymar Post author

    Baino – No need to worry about me. If I don’t post for a week, then start singing out loud and send in the toyboys!

  10. wisewebwoman

    No point in worrying, GM, you are so right. I tend to react to the sad state of the universe but have tamped it all down this year so far, nothing I can do apart from comment about it when I can’t take it anymore for a while!
    I have a lot of quiet time which suits me, and sometimes I just sits and day dreams hours away. I just love that.


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