Thursday Special ~ Selling Bibles!!

A pastor discovered that his church was getting into very serious financial trouble.  While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several unopened cartons of new bibles. So that Sunday, he asked the congregation for three parishioners to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.

Jack, Paul and Louie raised their hands.  The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie, a farmer who always kept to himself because of his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

The minister asked Jack, ‘Well, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?’

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, ‘Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here’s the $200 I collected for the church.’

‘Fine job, Jack!’ The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. ‘You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you.’

Turning to Paul, ‘And how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?’

Paul, smiling and strutting, replied, ‘I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here’s the $280 I collected.’

The minister replied, ‘That’s absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you.’

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, ‘And did you manage to sell any bibles last week?’

Louie silently handed the minister a large envelope.

The minister opened it and counted the contents. ‘What on earth?’ the minister exclaimed. ‘Louie, there’s $3,200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?’

Louie just nodded.

‘That’s impossible!’ Jack and Paul said in unison. ‘We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we did!’

‘Yes, this does seem unlikely,’ the minister agreed. ‘I think you better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie.’

Louie shrugged. ‘I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don’t kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure,’ he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. ‘For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said when they answered the door!’

‘A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was,’ Louis replied, ‘W-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks — o-o-o-or — wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?’




Who but the old salesman, Ramana, would have sent this to me.

13 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ Selling Bibles!!

  1. Nancy


    This reminds me of the guy who walked into a bar and said to the bartender.

    “GGGGGive mmmme a bbbottle of BBBBBudwwwweiser,BBBud.”

    The bartender replied,” YYYESSSS,SSSirrr,OOne BBBBottle OOOF BBBBUd,CCCComing RRRRight UUUp.”

    The patron was a little hurt but didn’t say anything till the next person came into the bar and said,
    ‘I’ll take a bottle of Bud,Bartender.” To which the bar man replied.” Yes,sir,One bottle of Bud coming right up.”

    Now the first fellow was hurt and said to the Bartender,” Were you making fun of me?”

    The barman looked around and whispered,” NOoooo,
    I wwwwwas mmmmmmaking ffffffun oof hhhhim.”:

    This joke is in fond memory of my brother,Bob,who was a stutterer all of his life and loved this story.

  2. Grannymar Post author

    Ramana – I am sure you have many a good story from your days on the road.

    Nancy – I can see why Bob liked the story.

  3. Alice

    Wait a minute! I think my hubby might have bought one of those Bibles from Louie. (He hates it when I try to tell one of my long stories. Hey! Maybe I could follow Louie’s example–$10 if I DON’T tell my story. Otherwise, sit still and listen!!!!) 😛

  4. Grannymar Post author

    Alice – Let me know if that trick works. 😆

    Mayo – Will the horse buy it? 😆

    Brighid – Thanks.

  5. Grannymar Post author

    Betty – Thank you. I think we all read far more blogs that we actually comment on. I know I find it difficult to keep up with all of them. As my granny would say: “Pitty we have to waste time eating!”.

  6. Nick

    Of course the householders could have just closed the door and chosen neither option, but they were clearly too polite to do so.


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