A man walks out to the street and in less than a minute, catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie nods at him.
Cabbie: ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.’
Passenger: ‘Frank who?’
Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab…things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.’
Passenger: ‘Oh, I’m sure he had his bad moments. There are always a few clouds over everybody.’
Cabbie: ‘Not Frank Feldman. His life was aces all the way. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.’
Passenger: ‘Sounds like he was something really special.’
Cabbie: ‘There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.’
Passenger: ‘Wow, some guy then.’
Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake. And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.’
Passenger: ‘An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?’
Cabbie: ‘Well…I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his frickin’ wife.’
Thank you Ramana for this one.