Thursday Special ~ Church Squirrels

There were five houses of religion in a small town:

The Presbyterian Church,
The Baptist Church,
The Methodist Church ,
The Catholic Church and
The Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But — The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptised the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven’t seen a squirrel on the property since.




With thanks to Brighid for the story today.

8 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ Church Squirrels

  1. Rummuser

    Pity they did not have a Hindu temple in the town. They would have taught the squirrels to do yoga and meditate and they would have all become Gurus and left to find other towns.

  2. Alice

    😆 I love these. Now I know what religion my next door neighbor must be. Here in our mountains, we live backed up to a mountain trail referred to as “rattlesnake gulch.” We don’t have much trouble with them in our yard (so far) because we have our yard sprayed for pests, or animals that become feed for the snakes–no mice, no rattlesnakes. The neighbor, on the other hand, often finds them in his yard (once even in the kitchen due probably to the doggie door), so often he owns his own snake catcher tool. He tells us he collects them, puts them into a croker sack and drives them to the closest LDS (Mormon) church and lets them go. He grew up Mormon, but I guess he’s Methodist now.

  3. Nick

    The Synagogue probably had the best solution. Giving someone a nasty shock is usually a perfect way of getting rid of them….

  4. Grannymar Post author

    Ramana – I am trying to picture the squirrels sitting cross legged and practising So-Haun Mantra Meditation!

    Alice – You paint a wonderful word picture. I cannot stop laughing.

    Nick – A nasty painful shock!

    gigi-hawaii – Some weeks we need a coffee cup warning, so be prepared to set down the coffee cup before a Thursday visit!

    Fos – Me too!


A penny for your thoughts...