Monthly Archives: January 2013

Thursday Special ~ £50 Nookie

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An elderly man and woman, both in their 70’s, walk into a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”

The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them £50, and says good bye.

A week later the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, “I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?”

The man says, “We’re not trying to find out anything.. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges £98 The Hilton charges £139. We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from BUPA.”

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This one has Frank written all over it. Thanks Pal.

Buffy had fun

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A new toy to tug and chew at.

Dinner is in the oven so we have a few minutes to play.

I did eventually manage to get the rope ring over Buffy’s head. She had great fun trying to remove it and immediately brought it back for me to play again.

On Sunday, Phil joined us for the day and we went exploring between the rain showers.

Buffy had no problem running through puddles, poor George was left to follow.

As always, Phil makes great use of his camera.

Buffy loves being in the water, but we kept her on her lead – the river was high with snow melt and a couple of days heavy rain.

Where did that stick go?

We took the cleanest path back to the car.

Self improvement.

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Sweating small stuff, is a waste of energy.
Eat 3 healthy meals in a day – work, rest and play.
Learn from the past, but live in the moment, with an eye to the future.
Face problems as if they were toffee. Chew well and then swallow!

It can take years to be an overnight success.
Musicians write for an orchestra what their inner voices sing to them.
Please & thank you are smile words.
Remember while falling on your face, you are still moving forward! 😉
One day at a time is the only road to the future.
Very near the end of your rope? Tie a knot and hang on.
Each mistake can be used as a teaching aid.
Make laughter tears run down your face every day, they are good for eyes & heart.
Enjoy today. It might be your las…….!
Not knowing the words, shouldn’t stop you from singing.
Try, try and try again. Weakness lies in giving up.

Our very own Loose Blogging Consortium Master Guru, Ramana, decided we needed some Self improvement this week. No doubt he will have many ideas for us to learn from, so why not bring your yoga mat to his place before checking out our other active members: Delirious, Maxi, Maria/Gaelikaa, Maria SilverFox, Padmum, Paul, Ramana, Shackman speaks, The Old Fossil, Will Knott.

Thursday Special ~ Hospital regulations

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.

A student nurse found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. He insisted he didn’t need her help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let her wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down she asked him if his wife was meeting him.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

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Thanks to John for wheeling this one in.

Writing Desk

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In the dull dead days of yearend, I wrote a ‘To Do’ list for 2013.

#16 – Enter a writing contest. Anyone know of a contest that calls for no more than 100 wurds?*

I am not a writer, I have a fear of the blank page… memories of scratchy dip pens, ink stained fingers to my knuckles and large black blobs making my writing almost indecipherable.

Nancy’s Challenge was right for me, show her my writing desk.

Anyone know how to get a picture of the inside of my head?

Where I go, my desk comes too!

*‘wurds’ – Dublinese for words.

Threads of Time

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Threads of Time ~ Bronze
Sculptor ~ Chris Wilson

The different levels of the table set me thinking… Youngsters were barely into double figures when they began their working lives, the tables & machinery must have looked so high to them. As the years passed the children grew up and the tables and machinery down.

This sculpture at Mossley Mill, Co. Antrim is a bronze table draped with linen cloth with detail including a cross section of the Borough. The cloth is symbolic of both the industrial past and the theatrical future of Mossley Mill. The building in the background is now a museum telling the story of the Mill.

Tabletop draped with linen showing a cross section of the local map and the Mill in high relief. The ship is in Belfast Lough possibly transporting the linen goods to foreign shores.  Do you have very old damask linen cloths, I wonder if this is where they began life?

One of the overhanging sections shows ‘tools of the trade’ scissors, shuttles bodkins, buttons and threads, needles and pins.

Chris Wilson was born in Glengormley, Co.Antrim, 1959. His education took him to Brighton Polytechnic where he gained a B.A.(Hons) Fine Art. He then returned to Northern Ireland to complete his studies and was awarded an M.A. Fine Art,  at University of Ulster.

Chris has this to say about his work:

My practice has involved the exploration of locations through the use of maps. The locations include interior spaces and landscape. The maps are used to create references to location both metaphorically and symbolically and to provide the basis for explorations of space. The significance of maps with their territorial references are used to investigate the illusion of three dimensional space created from materials normally read as flat. Particular works including ‘mountain’ employ multiple perspectives and opposing view points.