I am still a little lacking in concentration so I went looking for help with this post today.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
~ Mark Twain
It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.
~ Wayne Dyer
Well, Wayne Dyer, I know which one I would choose! Laughter is like sunshine from within!
This timely message came to me as part of a fun email this morning:
Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness you’ll never get back…..
Life is short
Break the rules
And never regret anything that made you smile.
I may not be laughing uncontrollably or hugging tightly this week, but you might hear me humming along with Andy Williams:
The angry voices raised in vain
The feeling deep inside of pain
Sometimes I think it’s not worthwhile
Until once more I see you smile……
The topic Anger was brought to us this week by The Old Fossil I wonder what got up his nose to make him drop this one in the basket? Why not check him out and then drift on round to see what the other active members are angry about: Delirious, Maxi, Ramana, Shackman speaks, & The Old Fossil, are the regular faithful crew, while Ashok, Maria/Gaelikaa, Maria SilverFox, Padmum, Blackwatertown, & Will Knott join us when life and time allows.
Rohit has again let us know that he would like to rejoin our group with an all new bright and shiny blog at The Minimalist Diaries, I do hope he manages to post along with us.
I expect you will not agree with me, Grannymar. But then, unlike you, I often misplace my rose tinted spectacles.
I firmly believe in the concept of “the other side of the coin”. Where there is happiness there will be sorrow. Where there will be laughter there will be tears. Where there is thunder there is lightning (stop me now before my metaphors run out of control).
I do not condone what some people do to others when uncontrollable anger takes over. However, I do believe that anger can be constructive. If only by questioning a questionable status quo.
Ursula – You are right. I don’t. I was never into rose tinted spectacles.
I deal with pain, tears, loss and sorrow in a healthy way and then move on. In my experience, tears often turn to laughter that helps lighten a heavy load.
I tend to agree with Ursula – though anger can and should be managed it is a natural phenomon and can be used to one;’s advantage.
When life throws mud pies at one, one learns to handle them, wipe some of the mud off and wash the rest off and put on new clothes. You have had your share of mud pies Grannymar and you have come out of those experiences well and continue to. That is why you are so admired.
My father had a terrible and terrifying temper. I resolved never to be the same, and since that time I’ve seldom been angry. I think anger is an extremely selfish emotion – while you’re consumed with anger, you’re totally oblivious to the needs and feelings of other people. And if it gets any result at all, it’s only because the other person is scared stiff.
shackman – When those around me become enraged, I simply switch off and let them get on with it. I do the same with stressful situations. I learned to do so in order to deal my heart problems. It works for me. I would rather die laughing than roaring!
Ramana – Mud pies a plenty, but nobody escapes this life without a little mud splatter!
Nick – That is the problem with ‘other peoples’ anger, it can have a injurious effect on innocent bystanders.
I’ve always liked the saying “anger is just letting someone live inside your head….rent free.”
I love this post. Yes, I prefer to laugh.
Rummy, I’m sure it is “clean mud” that is being thrown at you.
As for me,I’m caked!
I’d chose laughing too, but if my better self loses out, as it sometimes does, I try to use that energy for something productive such as really scrubbing the beejeepers out of my kitchen floor. Then I’m no longer angry and the floor looks better than it has it in ages. 😉
I’ve learned that anger can be the last refuge of the truly depressed. I was brought up in a house of uncontrollable anger and only through therapy did I understand the depression behind it.
It is a futile emotion, engendering fear and hatred amongst its victims.
And often life long suffering. And even death.
It still terrifies me.
Who pays for all the laundry bill?
Rather than get angry I patiently wait to see the person who has dished out anger get his day in “court.” I actually have been on the receiving end three times in the workplace where I was the receipent. All three of the anger hurlers later got paid for their actions. My patience was rewarded. (Kind of gloating – but worth it).
Anger is only an emotion one feels on losing something of value. I always try to figure out what I am missing.
A lot of what I know comes from living. The rest comes from therapy and self help books. ha ha. Dianne
I heard a story recently about someone who was bit by a rattle snake. They were so angry, that they were going to find and kill the snake. But in that moment of anger, if they had stopped to kill the snake, they could have died from the poison that was coursing through their veins. The only wise move would be to quickly seek medical help. So too, when we are angry, it’s best to focus on our recovery, instead of on what made us angry. 🙂
Al – I heard that one too.
gigi – We grew up learning to use laughter as a tension breaker.
Mayo – Caked, cracked and lovable!
Celia – If we became angry as children, mammy always found some physical task for us to focus on, it worked for us and we usually ended up in a happier mood.
WWW – There so many different triggers in people to cause anger to rise… tension, pain, frustration and depression to name a few.
Warren – My late husband had a phrase “He/she is not out of this world yet!”, for when someone wronged him.
Dianne – I am not one for self help books, I read somewhere that between 1972 and 2000, the numbers of self-help books…increased from 1.1 percent to 2.4 percent of the total number of books in print.
Delores – ‘Focus on recovery’ is a good way to deal with anger.
I tossed the topic into the bucket while thinking of basic emotions as topics months ago. No particular bee in my bonnet then or now, LOL. Like all basic emotions, it seems to be drawing quite the reader response.
You comment on changing in response to heart issues is something I can relate to directly by watching my father deal with anger in the same way because of his heart. It is not at all a trivial life issue!
Fossie – You do realise I was teasing you about selecting this topic, I hope?
If I had not learned to step down from stressful or angry situations, I know I would not be living on my own now.
I knew you were teasing! 🙂
Hello again…thanks for the welcome message, couldn’t make it on Friday this time but getting back on track slowly 🙂
Those are really nice quotes..especially the one about not being able to smile when angry. But I do believe that anger can be a force for good. Depends whether we use it as a weapon for peace or let anger use us to cause evil.
Rohit – You made it. As I said on your blog: I have seen far too much anger used for destructive purposes, all it does is leave a trail of carnage and shattered lives.
Calm people think clearly.