WARNING: No drinking coffee while reading.
The following alternative medical definitions of some common words come courtesy of The Washington Post:
Abdicate : to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash : a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent : an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Coffee : the person upon whom one coughs.
Esplanade : to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted : appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence : emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Gargoyle : olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Lymph : to walk with a lisp.
Negligent : describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Pokemon : a Rastafarian proctologist.
Rectitude : the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Testicle : a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly : impotent.
I like negligent 🙂
I would if I had a négligée,!
Looking in the wardrobe contemplating which clothes I’m going to take away -then trying on my choices left me ‘flabbergasted’ lol
😆
Surely negligent is a man in a negligee? And surely testicle is a trial ride on a bicycle?
Nick, I think you might be right! 😀
If only my doctor had a sense of humor like this.
“Arthritis” – A blog written by a man named Arthur?
Al, have you met him?
You don’t want to know how many of those definitions fit me do you?
Go on, tell us. You know you want to!
I like getting a laugh this morning thanks.
Celia, you are welcome.
These are hysterical. Thanks. 😆
Nancy, as soon as I saw them, I knew they were ‘my kinda humour’! 😆
Those were great, and I did keep my coffee away while reading them. Must send them on to my dad, he’ll get a kick out of them too!
Brighid, I think they will be right up your dad’s street!
Good thing you posted that warning – there are several coffee spitters there – LOL
Chuck, The warning is cheaper than paying for new keyboards and monitors! 😉
How about ‘pile-driver’ … A chauffeur sitting on a rubber ring … Ouch ! 😉