You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
“Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
“Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A little boy asked his father,
“Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy remarks, “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
This one came from the long married Lewis!
Lol!! Love it 😀
I am getting a lot of flak for my posts on matrimony. I hope that you don’t!
Lol, one of those sounds like it’s an Oscar Wilde quote 🙂
I thought it sounded familiar.
Funny that he had so many opinions on marriage !
Although I don’t share these sentiments about my spouse . . . I smiled from first to last. 😀
My fella would have giggled along with me! We were good at teasing each other.
Wow, that’s a really cynical view of marriage! Whoever coined those jokes must have been living with a real monster!
Or maybe he watched his mother?
Nick, maybe he moved with his in-laws!!
David, OR he did not watch his prospective Mother-in-law!
Laughing about marriage is ok, thanks for the chuckle.
Celia, we did that all the time.
Real mix here…. some from the “isillusioned woman” prrspective as well as the “disillusioned male” perspective.
Odd that he didn’t add, “Before you marry check out her mother. That’s how she’ll end up.”
That is what I was thinking!
Very negative. Are you having a bad day? I like the one about wearing the ring on the wrong finger. I don’t wear a ring a all anymore because my fingers grew fat. Dianne
Negative? Not me. I had a good day: Scoured the shower, cleaned my windows on the inside, made lunch and dinner for one, completed a 500 piece jigsaw, chatted to friends, listened to some music and now about to head off to bed early. A day like every other one.
I’m married and loving it!
I was and did!
I read these jokes to hubby and he laughed heartily. I did, too. Very funny.