Paul started a new job in Seoul last week. He thought it was a good Korea move.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

The “rocket salad” I bought went off before I could eat it!

I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van. The driver was sobbing and looked miserable. I thought, “that guy’s heading for a breakdown.”

A wife says to her husband, “you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back.” He says, “what do you expect? You’re in a wheelchair.”

My daughter asked me for a spider for her birthday. At the pet shop, they were £70! “Blow this,” I thought, “I can get one cheaper off the web.”

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning! Can you believe that? Lucky for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

19 mates go to the cinema. The ticket lady exclaims, “So many of you!” Mick nods, “The film said 18 or over.”

A mate of mine denied being addicted to brake fluid. He reckoned he could stop any time.

Just got back from my mate’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

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Thank you Paul, for the little giggles this week.