A police patrol sees a car weaving back and forth down the motorway. The officer picks up speed to catch up with it. Pulling up alongside the car he sees the driver is a little old lady, who is knitting as she drives.
He cannot believe it, and he shouts to her, “Pull over! Pull over!”
She yells back,
“No, it’s a scarf!”
It has been many years since I heard that little number, but I promise to keep my hands on the wheel and eyes on the road, when I drive.
Well of course you promise, I know you wouldn’t do anything like that, hmmm…
Brighid, behind the wheel, I am a little angel! It is the only way I’ll get anywhere.
I was at the 80th birthday celebration of my Other Mother some years back and when I met her in the lobby of the hotel with my mother, I suggested getting a picture of the best friends and asked for all “non little old ladies” to clear the shot.
The birthday girl told me, in her rich mellifluous tones, to go and fuck myself. I have to confess I was perplexed. She was 80, 5’2″ and most definitely a lady – at what part of the appellation was she taking umbrage?
Rowan, you forget that some little old ladies are pleased to be up to mischief at 80+. I often talk about two of the most beautiful women I knew who were full of life, laughter and curiosity for the world around them, right into their middle nineties. I have never seen sparkling eyes like theirs.
Seems to me the officer was being a bit of a knit-picker.
😈
Bwahaha! I hope knitting doesn’t become the new thing to do while driving.
Especially hand knitting, Nancy. Using hands instead of needles!
Do you think that she… “pulled the wool over his eyes” .. ? .. Ouch! .. Sorry .. 🙂
Now that made me giggle, John!
GM,
Have you heard about the cop who was waiting outside of the Night Spot at closing time waiting to catch some drunks to get in their cars and try to drive away.
Then he sees a fellow come out and stumble and fall down in the street, pick himself up and stagger toward his car. The cop watches him for a few minutes and while he’s eyeing this guy the rest of the crowd is getting in their cars and driving away.
Finally the policeman goes over to the “drunk” and says he is going to give him a breathalyzer test, which he does and which the man passes with absolutely NO alcohol in his system at all.
Now the cop is baffled and asks the guy what is going on and if he is the “Designated Driver”. The fellow smiles and says,”No, Officer, I am the Designated Drunk.”
Nancy L, You have a story for every occasion! I am giggling away here.
Very good knitter. I would drop a stitch or three.
If I tried to knot while driving, it would be more holey than Godly!