The New Alphabet

A’s for arthritis.

B’s the bad back.

C’s the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline.

E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!

F is for farting and fluid retention.

G is for gut droop, which I’d rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure – I’d rather it low.

I for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend.

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L ‘s for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low.

O is for osteo, bones that don’t grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few. Just give me a pill, I’ll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S: sleepless nights, counting my fears.

T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears!

U is for urinary, troubles with flow.

V for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.

W for worry, now what’s going ’round?

X is for X-ray, and what might be found.

Y’s for another year I’ve left behind.

Z is for zest I still have . . . in my mind!

I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed.
I’m keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!

Original author unknown, but I borrowed it from Nancy Hatch

20 thoughts on “The New Alphabet

  1. Cathy

    I know from morning tea gossip some of my friends would say yes to many of those items – me, well I’d have to study the list before I made any comment!

    I will just say my mother once told me that ladies did not fart – they broke wind 🙂


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