Good and Not so good

The past few months have been busy, but not that you would notice. I have been staying off line for many and varied reasons.

When the weather was favourable I spent time outdoors. Sharing coffee outings and walks with a lady senior in age to me but with a bright mind to compensate for her physical frailty. The challenge was to find somewhere new for our coffee each week and now our list is growing.  Only a few disappointments. One place was no longer trading, another had changed hands and was closed for refurbishment. There are a few earmarked for return visits.

On my travels I discovered a wool/yarn shop that hosts a morning of crafting where we bring the piece of knitting or crochet that we are working on and work away while nattering and sipping coffee. I had not realised how much I missed the camaraderie of kindred spirits and the inspiration we seem to feed each other. **

Last week was a difficult one. I travelled to Dublin at short notice for the funeral of a life long friend. She had lived a few houses away from my parental home for all of her life. The two families have kept close contact since them. This meant I met the grieving family, most of my siblings and several of the ‘old guard’ neighbours, a few of whom I have not met for about forty years! They needed no introduction the greeting was always the same: You look so like your mother! Thankfully they remembered mammy in her younger days, so I took it as a compliment! 😉 That part of the few days was good for my soul!

I stayed with my sister for a few extra days. She had been very involved in the care of our friend for the past four years of illness and would miss her daily visits. The end came suddenly and was a shock to everyone.  May my friend Rest in Peace.

I almost had a passenger stowed away in my car. She somehow dicovered how to self pack, I found her in a bag one morning!

Allanah in a bag

Allanah in a bag

Allanah whimpered all the time I was packing my car. Playing with a ball will have to wait until my next visit.

I moved to Elly’s for a couple of days and Buffy had great fun smelling the messages on my trousers and shoes. We played ball and tug the rope at every chance she got and the head went down when I was leaving.

** On my visits to Parlour Yarns I learned about Marinke Slump from A creative being, known to all as Wink.  A young creative and inspirational force who used blogging in her attempts to fight depression through crochet. She was so talented sharing patterns and publishing a book of her ideas and patterns. Alas the final post on her blog was not from Wink but from her sister… the depression had won.

Design Wars has asked that people pay their respects by sharing a mandala with the hashtag ‪#‎mandalasforwink. Parlour Yarns in Carrickfergus are taking up the challenge with a display of mandalas in the Courtyard on15th of August. Below are my contributions.

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We all know people suffering the agonies of depression, it would be difficult to find a family untouched by this dreadful affliction.

Unfortunately, many people fail to understand the deeply imbedded negative thought patterns that depression has for the individual struggling with it. Fighting the demons of depression when their voices are louder than any of those around, is not easy. Medications don’t help with that aspect of depression; the negative thoughts have to be fought with positive thoughts which have to be internalized to be effective because when one is in the darkness, other peoples voices are not heard over the din inside the head.

It’s hard for those who don’t go through the struggle to understand. It’s like having your wires crossed and certain signals not allowed through. The dark place is real and no one likes being in the dark. The mental pain and anguish is as real as the physical and all they want is to find a way out. Something’s wrong  and the patient can’t understand why.

If you are a sufferer please try to talk about it; don’t keep your feelings bottled up. If people don’t want to listen…find someone who will.

May we together hold hands and circle those who suffer, with our love!

27 thoughts on “Good and Not so good

  1. shackman

    Indeed – busy you have been. Sorry for your loss. It is one of the things I most dislike about this otherwise fun age. I look forward to a bit of traveling myself in the not too distant future – .

    Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      Autumn leaves falling all around us. As I said to one of my brothers: we need to make the most of every day we are given. Enjoy your travels, shackman.

      Reply
  2. mybeautfulthings

    Yes, make the most of every day and every friend. Your last sentence is perfect. I am very sorry to hear about Wink. I have never made a mandala but will find a pattern and try. I won’t be able to do it for 15th August but will try to make one in the Autumn.
    I send you love and a hug.

    Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      Sally, if you follow the link to Wink’s blog, there are several detailed patterns with photos and clear instructions.

      Thanks for the love and hug!

      Reply
        1. Grannymar Post author

          Good plan for when you are resting on the bed!. I will keep a candle burning for you on 19th!

          Reply
  3. rummuser

    I wondered why you were unusually sparse in your blogging as well as on facebook. I am sorry for your loss. Increasingly, as I age, I too keep coming across more such news than I had say, a few years ago.

    Yes, depression can be a devastating condition and I do know a couple of people with it. I try and be the listener.

    Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      Ramana, right now I know of three friends who are teetering on the edge of life. Two of them I saw when in Dublin last week. Though who knows, I might well be gone before them!

      Reply
  4. nick

    I’m sorry for the loss of your old friend. Fortunately I haven’t suffered such losses myself as yet, but my mother has seen many of her friends succumb and as a result feels increasingly lonely.

    Depression is a very deep-rooted affliction and as you say overcoming it isn’t easy. Many of those affected become so despondent and distressed that they in the end they see no solution but to take their own life. Effective treatment still seems very far off.

    Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      Thanks Nick. I know several people struggling with depression at the moment and it is not easy.

      Reply
  5. Grannymar Post author

    Thanks DM, The mandalas are interesting to make and a great way to use up scraps of yarn.

    Reply
  6. wisewebwoman

    So very sorry for your loss, GM, hard to lose old friends like this. They leave gaping holes in our lives.

    As to depression I always advocate being very careful who you share with. Being a depressive myself I’ve learned the very hard way that often I’ve felt worse after sharing with someone who doesn’t understand or is completely dismissive: i.e. pull up your socks, be grateful you’re alive, think happy thoughts, etc. etc.

    Lord if it was that simple, we’d do it.

    XO
    WWW

    Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      WWW, I have some wool – real wool gifted to me by my late friend and must find a special project in which to use it. depression is not an easy cross to carry, may the black dog stay at a distance for a very long time.

      Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      Gigi, nobody likes to lose a friend but we are all on a one way journey, some long some short so it is important we make the best of every day.

      Reply
  7. Brighid

    sorry to read of the passing of your family friend. So far I have not lost many friends, but I know that will change in its own time.
    Love the ones you love today.

    Reply
    1. Grannymar Post author

      Thank you, Brighid, You are fortunate. Death and loss have been regular visitors to my life, from frail elderly to a three month old niece and friends at all stages of life. We are all on a one way ticket and must make good use of life while our train is moving!

      Reply
  8. bikehikebabe66

    Enjoyed your ‘little part in Life’s story’.
    Wink looked so happy in all her pictures. People that are depressed All the Time are good at not showing it. It’s always such a shock when you see them so ‘happy’ one week & Gone the next.

    Reply

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