Well that is what it felt like. Invisible plugs in the soles of my feet were pulled and all my energy drained faster than a full bath scented with my favourite bath oils.
No need to worry it is just a blip… CFS/ME is something that has been part of my health package for about fourteen years. It happens suddenly. Unexpectedly. Elly is one of the few people that can read the signs. She has seen the colour drain from my face and my body suddenly droop to a wobbly jelly. This time she was nowhere near me and busy with work and her own life – that is as it should be – I gave her life and not a life sentence to be tied to my apron strings for life.
Over the years I learned to read the signs, slow down and rest.
This time I had other things on my mind and blamed the ‘tiredness’ on what I was trying to do, so kept going.
- My friend recovering from a fractured hip, returned home on 10th February. She needed some help with shopping etc., and my daily visits did mean that I actually sat for at least an hour to chat.
- I was expecting visitors (Post for another day.)
- I cut my finger badly. It has healed well on the surface, but internally it will never be the same. So now I have two index fingers that refuse to work on a touch screen – First World Problems
- Regular weekly appointments to attend.
This is NOT a ‘pity me’ post, it is an explanation for my absence from blogging. So no sympathy comments or I will unfriend and block you. SERIOUSLY!! I do not need sympathy, it is energy I need.
In these circumstances the longer I push against the grain… the harder the recovery time. It took me all my time to getup, wash, dress and make my meals. Thankfully my freezer was well stocked with home prepared meals allowing me to thaw, heat and eat them.
There were aches and pains in all my limbs and back. Even reading made my eyes heavy and concentration evaporated.
Thinking. Thinking of a few words to put on a page became impossible. I actually closed down the laptop and put it away. I almost returned to pre technology days with only the odd visit to Facebook so family would know I was alive.
That might explain my lack of posting in the last few months:-
- January: 6 posts
- February: 12 posts
Tuesdays are when I go to Parlour Yarns for my weekly injection of fun people happily knitting or crocheting, nattering & laughing. I normally come home full of ideas, stories, high energy and good spirits.
Two weeks ago I had to push myself to attend. During my morning I managed three rounds of a crochet granny square… it was all I could do. Before I came home, Jennifer our leader encouraged and gave me an idea. A simple idea. It was just what I needed to get back on track.
Once home, fed and rested, I gathered all the odd remnants of yarn, the half used balls and all the odds and sods lurking at the bottom of a large see through storage crate. They were every colour of the rainbow and more.
I began a corner to corner (C2C) crochet throw in random colours, a first for me. Each line was a different colour and the early rows used up the little scraps of colour. The different textures and colours worked well together.
C2C Shrug
It became like a drug. I sat in my corner at every opportunity… my plan was to work to fifty rows before beginning the decreasing, with a finishing border all round the edge to complete it. It was so relaxing and distracted me from my aches and frustrations.
I have worked the fifty increase rows and now am ten rows down on the decreases with all this yarn still to play with:
Oddments of yarn
I feel the energy slowly returning. No way am I ready to climb Cave hill, but by the time the rain stops and the throw is finished… I might be ready to take my camera for a dander.
Good to know what’s up and why you were hardly to be seen! And as requested, no sympathy. The throw is a great way of forgetting your physical ailments. It’s coming on nicely!
Nick, the throw is now at the stage where it keeps my knees warm as I work. From here on the rows are getting shorter.
I did wonder why you had not been blogging.
Rest was what I needed and I finally took the hint.
Don’t unfriend me but tell me if I can help with shopping, visiting, etc. I’d be so happy if you said yes. Coffee one morning (I will drive, lol). And would Reiki session be something you would consider, as my guest? X
Emily you are safe! Practical suggestions or offers are always welcome and not sympathy. A coffee one morning when your calendar allows would be good. We can talk more then.
I am really glad you are back. I appreciate the stories of your work and especially the memories very much. CFS is a bear, and tough to fight, because the tiredness is what is keeping you from collecting energy. It’ll get better. Sending you positive thoughts. L
Lin, not quite full time yet, I will take things slowly.
I have a past diagnosis of the same thing as well…I spent years out of the loop then things improved when it was found that I also had Asthma. But I have learnt when to back off, when to do more…recently I have been putting in place alternate days if possible. Plus I have stopped trying to do everything fast – including !@#$%^&*()!
lots of people assume I do oodles of things but really I don’t – okay tammy et al, are going to say what about all the “buds” – well that’s a sitting down job, which I can put down immediately if I want – and I’m not trying to win a race with them…
when I have too much on my plate, I curtail all kinds of regular things – I will grab a meal at the Mall, and so on… and like this week, I made a whole pot of something that I can add/subtract too …
one of things I like about my current life, is that I’m a single/home alone person and therefore if I decide to have toast – I do. I catch up on proper stuff at another time…
Cathy, I too have discovered that pacing myself is the key and living alone is a bonus, I can eat what I like, when I like and live to my own timetable. You take care and stay healthy.
So glad to have you back Grannymar – I missed you. Laura
Thank you Laura!
Oh my goodness GM, you have been through a tough ordeal. Glad to hear you are recovering. My heart and prayers are with you. One day at a time and you will be back to you. Miss you.
blessings ~ maxi
Maxi, I am learning to live in the moment. Each new day is a bonus not given to all. You take care, my girl and thanks for the thoughts and prayers.
… And I thought that my computer was playing up ! … 🙂 … Lovely to have you back.
Not your computer, John… it was your old pal playing truant!!
I love hearing from my Irish blogger! I hope you are having a better spring than we are in Toronto!
Lori, our weather is very hit and miss at the moment, today there was an iciness in the air. Brrr!
Zzzzap! Some energy flying your way! I’m in love with the throw – and I know well having warn knees is still a necessity this time of year (puts another briquette on the fire). Glad to have you back, and good timing for me as I was overwhelmed in Jan and Feb so missed a lot of posts from everyone.
Energy accepted, spiders. The air-stream/wind felt like it came from the Russian Steppes today, it was icy sharp. And now to bed… Zzzzzz!
I like your phrase … I gave her life and not a life sentence. A great parental approach.
Tom, I have always tried to give Elly her wings and with modern technology we are in touch almost everyday.
I did think, from your disappearance, that you must be having a spot of bother. Glad you are finding ways of rising above it. Things that are sent to try us really are trying. Of course, I am found wanting even without being tried – I want a new Jag, I want a seaside cottage again, I want lots of luvverly lolly, I want …
You really are proving that where there’s a wool, there’s a way!
‘where there’s a wool, there’s a way!’… I love it
Blogland is not the same without you missus. Though I did monitor you on FB and when I saw the wee shawlie, I knew things were picking up. I find knitting saves me more often than I can say. Creating something, anything, when the energy has all leaked away. Delighted you are back amongst us and I don’t have to tell you to be gentle and slow with yourself as you sound quite on top of all that stuff.
Light, love and a big hug.
XO
WWW
WWW, the wee shawlie/throw has grown with only thirty one more rows to complete the square and then I;ll have to decide on a border. Energy levels still need watching, but they are much improved… steady and slow is the road to go!
I read your description about how your energy seemed to pour out the bottom of your feet and I could here my wife saying the same thing. Now while my wife is several years older than I am (and I’m no spring…um…you know…that fowl thing running around barn yards with it’s feathers falling out with fat bodies, tiny heads with no brains and laying eggs everywhere), she’s also the more active of the two of us what with myself being partially laid up with service related disabilities and the like.
Still, her energy is consistently draining out of her feet of an evening which means I always keep a mop by my side these days to clean it all up.
I do worry about her though (which she hates though she dotes on me) but she absolutely will not see a doctor…ever! Probably because two of them in past pronounced her “dead on arrival” on one occasion long past and “dead at the scene” on another. Sort of makes you lose faith in those that practice medicine?
I figure the only way I’ll ever get her to a doctor for even a basic checkup is if she, heavens forbid, passed out and I could get her to the hospital before she regained consciousness. Then I’d have to be out of sight when she did because she’d kill me after she had a good look around and realized where she was.
Okay, hope that brought a smile to your face. Glad to see you up and posting.
Yes, M, it did bring a smile to my face.
Great way to clean out odd bits of yarn while you recharge your batteries.
Only sixteen rows to go and since it is worked corner to corner, they get shorter each time. Then the fun will be to decide on finishing border.