An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes, Dad, what is it?”
“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife….”
For all the money in the world, I cannot remember which old man sent this one to me! 😉
WARNING: No drinking coffee while reading.
The following alternative medical definitions of some common words come courtesy of The Washington Post:
Abdicate : to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash : a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent : an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Coffee : the person upon whom one coughs.
Esplanade : to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted : appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence : emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Gargoyle : olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Lymph : to walk with a lisp.
Negligent : describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Pokemon : a Rastafarian proctologist.
Rectitude : the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Testicle : a humorous question on an exam.
Willy-nilly : impotent.